Laying it down

So, life as a single Christian is really a struggle. Dating in my 30s has been difficult but dating as a single 31 year-old-Christian has been even tougher. Thank God I have my singles from Church to count on and I know that they have the same struggles I do. I haven't always dated as a Christian even while being a Christian. Not sure if that makes sense..... it's just difficult sometimes to remember what God wants for me. God does not want me as just another name on a list next to a box of condoms. He wants something beautiful and real for me.

Well, recently I decided to kiss dating goodbye and really give God the pen to my love story. Trust me, this is hard. Especially when I have some oh so beautiful men calling and texting me....ugh, very hard to say 'no'. I love going out on dates but I know that when God's leading man for me is in my presence, I will know! Until then, I'm trying really hard to not give any other boys the wrong impression. I promised myself and I promised God that the next relationship I get in is going to be with the one I KNOW is made just for me. I believe he is out there. In order for me to really have faith in this, I had to lay it down. I have to lay down all of my dreams and hopes and hand them over to my God who has thus far, taken aMaZiNg care of me. That day when He asked me to leave my five year relationship for something He had planned for me, I listened and I have had many ups and many many downs but I realized my downs were because I stopped at that day. I obeyed and left my relationship but then I stopped asking for guidance and I stopped obeying Him at that point. Maybe it was because I had to get over things, I dunno. I just know that when I moved back to NWA from my year adventure in Texas, I realized that I stopped there and I had to pick up where I left off. So here I am, a year later.....laying it down. God, I know you have AMAZING things planned for me and my future mate is going to be so amazing and everything YOU want for me and so much MORE than I can even imagine for myself! I'm so excited to see what You have in store for me! You're love is amazing and You never ever let me down!

I'm laying it down for you to pick up the pieces for me Lord.... I trust that you know where each beautiful and lost piece goes. You have the amazing picture painted for me already and I am now allowing YOU to put that picture together for me as I lay it down. :)

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Lay It Down
By: Jaci Velasquez.

Verse:
I've been lookin' till my eyes are tired of lookin'
Listenin' till my ears are numb from listenin'
Prayin' till my knees are sore from kneelin' on the bedroom floor
I know that you know that my heart is achin'
I'm running out of tears and my will is breakin'
I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans,
Are slowly slippin' through my folded hands

Chorus:
So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do?
Cause everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down.

Verse:
I've been walkin' through this world like I'm barely livin'
Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been diggin'
But You're pullin' me out
I'm finally breathin' in the open air
This room may be dark but I'm finally seein'
There's a new ray of hope, and now I'm believin'
That the past is past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now
Oh, cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

Chorus:
So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
Oh what else can I do,
Cause everthing I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down.