February 5, 2011

A Mother's Heart

So, I had a dream last night and it involved my Mom and a filing cabinet. I was visiting my Mom and she had left the room for a moment. I noticed a bright red filing cabinet in the corner that I had never seen before. Something prompted me to walk over to it and open it. I kept hesitating as I did not want to be snooping in my Mom's personal things but something kept prompting me to open it. So, I finally gave in and I opened it. Inside were tons of files, "Crystal's first hand prints", "Crystal's first day of school",  "Crystal's hospital visits", "Crystal's heart murmur and how to keep her healthy", "Crystal's first crush", "Crystal's first sleep over with her friends", "Crystal's first Jr. High friend argument", "Crystal's first boyfriend", "Crystal's first heart break", "Crystal's first job", "Crystal's first day of college", "Crystal's heart break from Rachel's death", "Crystal moving to Arkansas" and the files went on and on and on. I remember going through the titles of each file saying to myself, "has my Mom gone mad? What is this all about?" I opened the file that was titled "Crystal's first heartbreak". Inside I would find pictures of him and me... happy. I would find all the gifts he had given me throughout our courtship, including crushed roses that I had kept from the day he had proposed to me. I also found the engagement ring he had given me along with a note from my Mom asking God, "please heal my baby girl's heart and help her to find love again someday." I couldn't believe it. I started to cry as my Mom walked in and caught me with my hands in her filing cabinet. She walked over to me and hugged me and that's when I woke up.

I thought about that dream all morning and then I realized, God was telling me how every joy, every tear, every heartbreak, problem, milestone is filed away in my mother's heart. From good to bad.....it was there, in her heart. I want to honor my Mom today. Only a Mom can love a child this much. Only a Mother can be so strong when they watch us fall and wish they could take our pain away. Only a Mother can cherish our accomplishments so dearly. So, Mom, we haven't always seen eye to eye but thank you for loving me no matter what. I know every moment of my life is filed away in your heart and I am so blessed to have somebody that loves me so much! I love you Mom!

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