So, the past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. If you are my facebook friend, I'm sure you have noticed. I often get told, I say too much on fb but I beg to differ. We are to have a life of an open book, living in a glass house....if I am not sharing my struggles and times of overcoming them or sharing how GOD has helped me overcome them, then what I am I doing? I love when people tell me that they watched me go through a struggle but then saw me overcome it and that they wanted what I had and for that, they turned their life over to Christ. That is my mission on earth, to help spread His love and sometimes the only way we can do that is by being a walking testimony.
In my last few days of utter emotional hell, I have listened to David Crowder Band's song "Oh How He Loves Us" over and over again to keep having the reminder that God loves me no matter who is angry at me, no matter what mistakes I have made, and no matter my imperfections. I thought it was amazing when my friend Haley emailed me a song that she said had been heavy on her heart for me and it was "Oh How He Loves Us" by a different artist. This song is so touching. My favorite line is "I don't have time to maintain these regrets....". Oh I love that line and it is so true!
Life is passing by us at high speed and who has time to spend it in the past? Especially our past mistakes? I made a mistake by not giving a friend I lost yesterday a BIG OL' HUG and telling him how much he meant to me. Had I known, that was going to be the last time I saw him, I would have never let him go. I would have kept him right there with me but I couldn't, I didn't, and that wasn't in God's will. My heart hurts and I want to turn back the hands of time so bad and just spend one glorious minute in the presence of him but I can't. I just have to cherish the good times and move on with my life.
Death can bring so much light to things in life. It makes us think about the important things and forget the small things. It makes you want to just scoop all of your loved ones and even your enemies and just love on them and tell them how special they are. It makes me want to love deeper and forgive more and quicker. It makes me want to stop wasting time in fear and wasting time arguing with others. I just want to love in peace. I want to love unconditionally, the way Anant loved me! Everybody deserves to have an Anant in their life and I pray if you are reading this, and you have an Anant in your life, that you will call them up or lean over and hug them and tell them how much love you have for them. Do it! Do it right now! :)