May 29, 2010

One Choice Can Change Your Whole Life

So, this weekend has been my girl's weekend! I have had a blast with the girls but I am missing Bej like crazy as this has been the longest we've been apart (sad face). Even though I miss my sweetpea, I have been having a blast with the girls. Friday we had dinner and drinks on the patio, today we sat poolside all day, and then BBQ to end the evening. Tomorrow it's Church, a movie, and poolside again! Life is good!

Tomorrow is my first day to officially start looking for a new Church. I'm so nervous but very excited to see where God guides me. I was praying this evening and in the midst of my praying I really realized how amazingly blessed I am. I thought about all of the HUGE choices in life I have had to make the last few years and how God's guidance was all I concentrated on in making some choices. I started thinking about how hard those choices were and how I went back and forth with what would be right or wrong or going through things in my head wondering how life would go if I chose one or the other. The relationships I had to let go of were the biggest choices I have had to make. I have a hard time with goodbye but in prayer and having faith I have been able to let go of toxic relationships and lots of toxic friendships. I think about all of the qualities I wanted in a man and how God has placed all that I ever wanted AND SO MUCH MORE in Bej and I would have NEVER experienced the true meaning of love had I not made the choices I have the last couple of years. I think about where I would be had I gone the other direction. My last relationship was a DISASTER....oh dear. I don't even want to imagine where I would be or how awful life would have been. That was doomed from the very beginning. God has really helped me see the reasons why I chose that relationship. As sad as the reasons are, I'm just glad I got out of it.

Now, I have Bejan. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. He's truly everything in the world that I have ever ever wanted. It amazes me how perfect things are. Now that I am in this loving, cherished, amazing relationship...I have realized that this is probably the first healthy relationship I have ever been in. We have such a mutual respect for one another, we encourage one another, cherish one another, support, we laugh all of the time...we just flat out love one another. It's amazing!

I think about friendships I have finally let go and how letting those friendships go, I have been able to really nourish the healthy friendships. I am so blessed to have the friends I have in both Texas and Arkansas. God so amazes me with the people He has placed in my life. I've learned that even though it's hard to let go of people....sometimes letting go and making that room for somebody else is the ONLY way He can place those people in our lives that HE wants in our lives. I am so thankful for His will and for His guidance!!!! I know that I will continue to learn and continue to grow and I'm so very excited for the next Chapter in my life! God is good! :)

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